Stories From Miskatonic University

Ponder This.

2010-11-03T07:46:00.001-07:00

Did Salvador Dali enjoy children's breakfast cereal?

Ending World Hungarr

2010-10-08T20:28:00.001-07:00

Hi.
Hello.
Your total is four dollars and twenty-seven cents.
Here you go.
Any sauce?
Hot!
Would you like to donate one dollar to end world hunger?
Hahaha.
...
Okay, look here, I just ordered a goddamned XXL Chalupa, you really think I give a fuck about world hunger? And if I did, which I don't, do you think a dollar really makes that goddamned bit of difference?
We've already had several people donate today, you're actually the first to decline.
Well, in that case, good! And I want you to know that I'm not declining because I want to continue world hunger, I'm declining on principal! I feel that you have attempted to swindle me out of a dollar by putting me on the spot, with ordering something not only extra-large, but extra, EXTRA large. Trying to make me feel guilty.
...
How's this: I'll buy the taco party case, throw them all in the garbage, and at night, when all the hungry little sewer babies come out, they can have first dibs on my indifference. I suck. The end.

Interactive Activities

2010-10-06T16:19:00.001-07:00

If you want to relate to an elderly person, here's what you should do.
Watch Wheel Of Fortune.
All old people like that show.
You can watch it with them.
And relate.
It will be engaging and include a few laughs.
You will have a great time.
Guaranteed.

A nice, elderly person

Unconscious, But Alive.

2010-09-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to join Alcoholics Anonymous...

2010-09-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

...just so I can have a good enough excuse to hang outside a church drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes.

The Day In The Life Of A Living Legend

2010-09-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Wake.
Coffee.
Pills.
Weed.
Click click click.
Coffee.
Pop Tarts.
Weed.
Flinstones Vitamins.
Porn.
Scotch.
Porn.
Porn.
More Scotch.
More Porn.
Down down down.

Through My Portals, I See It All Now.

2010-09-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

An Alien shared his reflection to me.

He said, I am watching a sporting event featuring the Dallas Coors Light versus the Washington Foreskins. They throw the diseased liver back and forth. They attempt to run to the painted grass. It rarely happens. Motherfucker. Is COPS on yet?

Almost The Death Of A Family

2010-09-01T09:54:00.002-07:00

The Ballad of Jose Antonio Sanchez.

2010-08-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

When Jose Antonio Sanchez, the Muskegon parolee accused of having sex with his pet pit bull, moved into the neighborhood earlier this year, nearby residents couldn’t have fathomed what he would be arrested for months later.

“I was surprised to hear about it,” Mikesell said of the charge. “I didn’t suspect that. His dog sat in the backyard a lot. I saw him walking the dog once and heard him yelling at his dog a lot, calling him all sorts of names.”

However, Steve Mikesell’s 83-year-old father — who uses a voice box to speak — wrote his comment about the allegations on a notepad.

“Not surprised,” Harry Mikesell scrawled. “Pervert.”

"Come 'ere boy!"

“We have a friend with the Internet who tells us about some of the strange people living in this city,” he said.

“It turns out he’s one of them.”

Originally appeared in a Muskegon Chronicle article written by H.L. Peters. Edited by M. Akers.

Dear L*rd

2010-07-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

My child is a cannibal.
What did I do to deserve this?
I thought I raised it right.
But I guess I failed.

My child is a cannibal.

My child is a cannibal.

My child is a cannibal.

We are good Christians.
We do not eat people.
I told it.
It didn't listen.

EERHT TRAP

2010-07-11T11:42:00.001-07:00

He shot that man. He didn't intend to. But he did. He went out with that pistol and he drove out there and he saw him and they saw each other and he shot him and now that boy's dead. And there's nothing he can do now but bury that heavy son of a bitch.

He told her he was working late and might not be home and he won't. He drove five hours north to his families place. No one goes there now. He buried that boy deep. Over six feet. He buried everything and planned on never going back, and he won't.

No one will ever know.

Prologue

2010-07-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

Hate, he said, is a gift from G*d. The son of a bitch spat on the floor. Let it enter you. Let it consume you. It is what sets us apart.

Be its vessel. Breath hate.

The son of a bitch looked him in the eye. So tell me, what do you feel now?

The bastard.

Mom & Dad

2010-07-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

The death of a family.

The Kentucky Ripper

2010-07-09T09:58:00.001-07:00

Wallace Hunter Smith (b. November 3, 1932 Beefhide, Kentucky) is a Pedophile, Serial Killer, Mass Murderer, Rapist, Born-Again Christian, and Song Writer. With an estimated victim count well above 100, W. Hunter Smith is one of the most notorious murderers in American history. He is currently serving 200 consecutive life sentences in solitary confinement in Kentucky's prison system. After converting to Christianity in 1994, W. Hunter Smith's name has become more prominent with the release of several smuggled out songs he has written.

These songs were recorded by what appear to be two brothers of unknown origin, Randall and Murph Coogan. They call themselves, WALLACE HUNTER SMITH AND THE COOGAN BROTHERS BAND. No other information is known about the recordings or the people involved.

Hello. How are you?

2010-07-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

Why are custom muscle cars never driven by guys that look like this anymore ->

And usually driven by guys that look like this - >

You know them, they drive too slow, calling it "crusing", I call it, "being a pussy." If you see one of these cars on the road there is a 50% chance there are grand children in the car. FUCKING W-E-A-K. These guys make the bike gang in SCORPIO RISING look like Conan The Barbarian.

The Prince Of Porn (1982/2002)

2009-08-16T21:59:00.000-07:00

Documentary about Avon 7 director Phil Prince who later went to prison for attempting to rob a Häagen-Dazs ice cream store. When the kid behind the counter thought he was joking and started to laugh, Prince shot him in the chest and ran off, only to later be caught after a game of traffic frogger with the NYPD. About 20 minutes, HIGHLY NSFW, and very entertaining. Yes, this is real.

THE GODDAMN VIDEO WENT MISSING - I WILL TRY TO FIND IT EVENTUALLY OR POST A TORRENT LINK

Also, you may want to click on the video and watch this on the OG website since my blog cuts it off in the corner and I don't have a clue how to make it not do that.

VHS Wasteland Vol. 1

2009-08-16T17:18:00.000-07:00

About the rating system - Normally I'm not a big fan of throwing stars on to films to rate them. For my bigger reviews, I don't do it because it doesn't really tell you anything about the movie other than what a reviewer, who you probably don't know, thinks about a film in its most basic terms. Not all 1-star films are horrible all the way through. For example, the atrocious Joel M. Reed film, Night Of The Zombies would probably receive 1-star from me, but it still has a couple of stellar Jamie Gillis moments that would make it better than other putrid zombie fare that would also get 1-star, but NOTZ is still not good enough to get any more.

Also, all films are rated not by every film ever made, but by films similar in the genre. For example, I would rate Strike Commando 4-stars, but it doesn't compare to what most films people would give 4-stars to. So while Strike Commando may be the Citizen Kane of Italian action retardation, it doesn't really stack up to Citizen Kane itself. I hope this makes sense. Now, let's get to starring these fuckers!

The Ruthless Four (1968, Giorgio Capitani)
Way better than other spaghetti's "starring" Kinski, plus he's actually one of the stars, not just listed so on the box cover. Basically, a gold miner (Van Hefflin) finds a shit-ton of gold and needs help getting it all out and back to town without any holding him up. He enlists a man, Manolo Sanchez (George Hilton), that he helped raise, but with him comes the dominating and manipulative Brent The Blonde (Kinski), who may or may not be Manolo's ex-boyfriend (not making this up). The film relies more on paranoia than typically spaghetti western conventions that were already beginning to grow stale just four years after they began to take off. Though the film may lack in non-stop shoot outs and duels, it makes up for it in a brilliantly staged and filmed shootout at about the halfway point that looks about 30 years ahead of its time. Originally, this was to be directed by Lucio Fulci, but I think the producers ended up with the right man for the job in Capitani, who really isn't known as an Italian genre guy. The Ruthless Four is to the spaghetti western genre like The Thing is to the horror/sci-fi genre. Okay, I won't go that far but it's worth seeking out and absolutely deserves an UNCUT dvd release. ***1/2 out of 4.

Bruce Li: The Invincible (1977, Chi Lo)
Okay, I watched this all the way through and still have no clue what this film is about. Like, not at all. BUT, at one point, Bruce Li fights a man in a gorilla suit. I'm not totally sure if you are supposed to know it's a guy in a gorilla suit or not, but it really comes out of nowhere. A long, cross species kung-fu fight takes place and Bruce Li beats the ape so bad its eyes explode from its head. The fight is than directly followed by another ape/man kung-fu brawl. It has nothing to do with the plot and is never mentioned after that fact. That's about it for this one. ** out of 4.

Bloodfist (1989, Terence H. Winkless)
This tepid Roger Corman produced flick is rightfully lumped in with all the late-80's deadly underground kickboxing tournament films and for good reason. Don "The Dragon" Wilson farts his way through 90 minutes. I like the idea of it - getting a shit load of karate/kickboxing stars to strut their stuff on the big screen - but it comes off pretty boring. Billy Blanks was one of the more intriguing characters and, despite being on the cover, was barely in it. Movies like this make Manilla look like the sketchiest place on Earth. With a title like, Bloodfist, you'd expect a blood bath, right? Nah, there's barely any fighting or blood in it. However, there are some of the most insanely brutal fighting sound effects that I've ever heard, and I must give credit where credit is due. Features a staple in late-80's/90's films, the scene at a strip club where a gross stripper pops her top for 15 or 20 seconds. Despite the female lead having a good body, the boring love scene and bleached out look do nothing for me. *1/2 out of 4.

Bloodfist 2 (1990, Andy Blumenthal)
This is way better than part 1 in every way. The plot, what exists of it, is nothing original and follows closely to that of Mortal Kombat (why do they spell it with a "K"?). Bloodfist 2 takes the idea of getting a bunch of fighting champions and finally uses them to showcase how tough they are. My favorite character is the Greek wrestler who looks like a giant pussy but whoops major ass. The only issue I have is this looks heavily cut violence-wise and the brutal sound effects are a thing of the past. Sadly, I doubt there's any interest to release an uncut version, if that footage even exists anymore. There's also a weird anti-drug message mixed in here that comes off more comical than anything. *** out of 4.

The Story Of Prunella (1982, Phil Prince)
Interesting movie. Part of the Avon 7 Productions directed by convicted attempted murderer, Phil Prince. Three guys, lead by the legendary George "Bring The" Payne, escape from an inescapable prison. They meet up with a female cohort and car-jack an old lady and her daughter, who just happen to be the wardens family. The women were on their way to the daughter's (Prunella) wedding shower. The man she's about to marry? Detective Ron Jeremy. The raw, atmospheric, and amateurish (not in a bad way) look to the film kind of puts it right up there with The Last House On The Left and The Last House On Dead End Street except for where those films emphasize the horror aspect of their sadistic gangs, the gang in "Prunella" is simply out to sexually dominate woman. Unfortunately, this film is only about 50 minutes long and most of it is dedicated to boring sex scenes, specifically the scenes with the Hedgehog. But there are enough bizarre, inept, and off-the-wall moments that keep it interesting throughout, including a "shocking" ending that is no more shocking than say, Ron Jeremy fucking a 50+ year old woman with a multi-angle, multi-repeated money shot. *** out of 4.

Hated

2009-05-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

Venus Flytrap (1987)

2009-05-05T18:54:00.001-07:00

Some day...

Forced Opinion Bootleg Score Series SOLD OUT!

2009-02-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

SOLD OUT!
Thanks to everyone who bought one.

Some quick background information
I love film scores. Specifically, synthesized scores. To get even more specific, synthesized 80's film scores from Italy. A lot of these are hard to find and if you can find them, they are usually extremely overpriced. So I got this idea to track down great film scores and do very small runs on cassette with some cut and paste photocopied covers.

This is NOT an endeavor to make money. This is for the nerds and the tape heads to have some fun for cheap. As I said earlier, these will have very small runs, probably 20 at most, maybe less to start out with to gauge to see if this is even worth doing. Covers and tapes are already done for the first batch, which is...

01 - Claudio Simonetti "Conquest" OST
Moody and atmospheric synthesized score. Very fitting for this surreal and bizarre bloody fantasy adventure. Put this in your walkman and go explore the woods...naked. Features 2 tracks that aren't available on any other releases.

In other news...
Waiting on the covers for the Neighborhood Threat 7" before I can start selling those.
I'm going to be selling some DVDs soon so keep an eye out for that.

http://miskatonicu.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/forcedopinion

Peace.

Wasted Film Theory Part 3 - TCM

2009-02-12T22:27:00.001-08:00

Part three of a five page essay written on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre while intoxicated. I have a little more written than I thought, so at least one more video after this!

Wasted Film Theory Part 2 - TCM

2009-01-31T17:06:00.001-08:00

Part two of a five page essay written on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre while intoxicated. There should be one more, so stay tuned!

Wasted Film Theory Part 1 - TCM

2009-01-31T12:59:00.000-08:00

Part one of a five page essay written on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre while intoxicated.

Hot Honey (1978)

2009-01-07T20:14:00.000-08:00

image may be altered to make safe for work

I always kind of put it off. That is, tracking down one of my favorite director's earlier films. What I have always referred to as, "The Pornos." Why? I don't know. I guess there really is no reason, other than the opportunity of buying one of them never presented itself, that is, until two weeks ago. Ebay has an Adult's Only section. Why did I never notice this?! So, of course, one of the first things I did was type in the titles of William Lustig's first two pictures, The Violation of Claudia and Hot Honey. I had no luck with the first title, but I got one for Hot Honey. "Great," I thought, "and affordable too!" This past Monday it came, no pun intended.

Hot Honey begins with some great footage from the late 70's of 42nd Street. It actually opens with a theater marquee with Jaws 2 on it. Honey (Heather Young) and her man, Johnny (Jack Hammer...lol) stroll the deuce playing arcade games and taking it all in. They eventually wind up back at Jack's place where he tries to get in her pants, to which she quickly turns him down. Honey winds up leaving in a whirlwind of emotion, not ready to give it up to Johnny just yet. So what does Johnny do? He goes right to his telephone and makes a booty call.

Honey makes it back to her home and we meet her wheelchair bound brother, Michael (Jamie Gillis). Recently paralyzed from the bottom down, he dissaproves of his sister's boyfriend. While Johnny is fucking his neighbor, Lustig juxtaposes a scene of Honey maturbating herself to sleep. It appears that Honey just isn't ready to make love to a man yet. The next morning comes (again, no pun intended) and we find ourselves in the bedroom of Sara (Simone Sinclaire) and Sara's Husband (Herschel "Walker" Savage), they, of course, are fucking each other. We aren't sure of the connection between this couple and the rest of the cast of characters. Ss Lustig going for some Robert Altman-esque multi-character study of the role sex plays in a relationship? Nah, Sara is just Honey's friend and dance partner. Yes, Honey dreams of becoming a dancer. Except, every time she practices with Sara they wind up fucking each other, so they never really get that far into practice. Also, in the women's first sex scene they slap their vaginas against each other, I can't imagine that giving pleasure to either one of them.

Back home, Michael's Nurse (Serena) tries to convince him not to be so hard (no pun intended) on Honey. How does she do this? By busting out the whip and some leather. How fitting for Jamie Gillis, right? The Nurse puts Michael in a bondage-like belt*, binding his hands but still exposing his dick. Honey comes home in the middle of this and begins to spy on the Nurse and Michael. Finally getting discovered, the Nurse asks Honey to join them, which she does in the form of blowing Michael...her brother. The Nurse starts slapping Michael with the whip, while brother and sister are engaging in oral sex. Things seem to be going alright until the Nurse wants Honey and Michael to have sex. At first, Honey is not into the idea at all. She can blow her brother, but fuck him? She quickly decides that it's time to go through with it. It's time to lose her virginity, and what better way to lose your virginity than to lose it to your brother. While the two are doing the deed, Lustig intercuts close-ups of the action, the lighting isn't so great so at first you can't really tell what's going on, but then it becomes clear, abundantly clear, Gillis has blood all over his dick. The cherry has been popped and Honey is hot.

Michael's loosening of the parental strings by way of virginity bursting opens up a new world for Honey and the first thing she does is go right back to Johnny's apartment and give it up to him...twice. This include oral sex with a honey-dipped dick. Their relationship has entered a new territory. Where do they go from here? Johnny asks Honey to move in with him to which she tells him she has other plans. A door opens. It's Sara. They fuck. Sara's Husband enters the picture and joins them. We close on the happy Sara and Honey, getting their money shot. Honey is now a woman and can complete her dreams.

When I first started watching this, up until an hour in, I was in the mind set that I was watching a movie, not a porno movie. In the porno movie world, logic does not exist. Like in poorly made horror movies, scenes are set up in which it gives an opportunity for characters to die. It doesn't matter if the reasons that put them there are illogical and idiotic, that's the whole point. So of course, every scene in Hot Honey sets the characters up to fuck each other in the simplest way possible. They're people fucking each other, not going over the meaning of life, you know?

William Lustig (Billy Bagg) and director of photography, Robert Lindsay (Lindsay Roberts) both worked on Maniac together a few years later. A movie that, while it has CONSIDERABLY less sex in it, somehow manages to be sleazier than Hot Honey. There really is nothing here that would allow you to make the connection between the two films. Hot Honey is a pretty standard 70's deuce porn. The only thing that has really stuck with me since I watched it was the threesome scene with Jamie Gillis, obviously for the S&M and Incest thing going on. The entire scene is shot in soft focus so, while it is bizarre, Lustig still leaves room for the possibility of it being a dream sequence. Was the incestual threesome a symbolic letting go of Honey or did it really happen?

The rest of the sex scenes really left something to be desired. Most of them consisted of three shots - a one shot of the guy, a one shot of the girl, and a close up of the penetration. They are clumsily shot and seem to only capture the mundane parts of sex. The woman in the film aren't ugly but even in the scenes of lesbian sex there isn't any focus on either of them. The real reason to track this down is the threesome scene, it is by far the most masterfully shot and you can tell that that was the big scene of the film. I keep equating it to the fight scene in They Live between Roddy Piper and Keith David - long after someone has watched the film this specific scene is what remains of it in their memory. Still, all criticisms aside, watching this film has made me want to track down Lustig's first one, Violation.., so I guess this one wasn't too bad.

NOTES -
1.)The Hot Honey video tape came with about a half hour of trailers, almost all of them roughies (S&M, bondage, dominatrix, etc..). One of them featured a woman who has the lower part of her leg amputated. So, of course, they lube it up and she then proceeds to fuck another woman with her amputated leg. Interesting.

2.)* = I'm sure this has a name but I don't know it. Creeps get in touch.

3.)Sorry, no trailer. I don't even know if there is one online. Instead, here is a clip from Roger (The Last House On Dead End Street) Watkins' 1983 film, Corruption. The atmosphere here is killer. The score pulsates like Morricone's work on The Thing. Gillis is haunting (everyone is, really). If ANYONE has a copy of this, get at me, I need to see the rest.

Couple Months In Records

2009-01-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

December
Obits "One Cross Apiece" 7"
No Talk "Tighten The Noose" 7"
Inmates "Now We're Talking Hardcore" 7"

Sex/Vid "Communal Living" 12"
Steve Moore "Vaalbara" 12"

November
Cadaver In Drag - "Raw Child" LP
Mammal - "Lonesome Drifter" 2xLP
Mind Eraser "Conscious/Unconscious" LP (Orange)

October
Underdog - Live at Ashbury Lanes 7"

H8 Inc - Life Of Pain LP (Pink-ish, #'d 206/500)
Right Idea - Our World 12" (White) & (Blue)
Terror - Lowest Of The Low LP (Clear)
Youth Of Today - We're Not In This Alone LP

September
The A-Team "Clusterfuck" 7"

Brain Handle "Smiling/Smiling Again" 7"

Committed "The Pride We Share" 7"

Hands Tied S/T 7"

Neighborhood Threat 7"s

Obliteration - S/T (?) 7"

Sex Vid "Voyeur" 7"

Breathing Fire - "Years Of Lead" LP (Clear)

Common Cause "The Power To Change" LP X2 (Clear, Pre-Order Stamp #'s 65 & 66/100)

Fed Up! "Fuck Your Life" LP

Floorpunch - "Fast Times At The Jersey Shore" LP (Green; /300)

Midnight "Farwell To Hell" 10" (Clear, Die Hard Version w/Bonus 7")

Sick Of It All "Blood, Sweat, and No Tears" LP (In-Effect Press)

Token Entry "Jaybird" LP (Red)

Uniform Choice "Staring Into The Sun" LP
Uppercut "Four Walls" LP

Black Cobra (1987)

2008-09-14T13:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, Fred Williamson. Some people hate him, I love him. There is just something endearing about his downright narcissistic personality that I can't help but like. Perhaps what makes it so endearing is that his ego is inflated by films like, Black Cobra. This isn't The Terminator or even Cobra, yet you'd think it was if you watched in interview with him about it. Who needs Hollywood when you have the near lawless frontiers of Rome or Manila? The man is a KING in those cities, just ask him.

Just as Sylvester Stallone is Cobra. Fred Williamson IS the Black Cobra, just replace the toothpick with a thin, white person rolled cigar (See his interview on the 1990: The Bronx Warriors DVD). The plot is nearly identical. Well, nearly is putting it lightly, it IS Cobra.

Unfortunately, I can't remember (I wrote my notes months ago :( ) which company produced the DVD I watched but I'm assuming that there isn't much difference between any of them. The DVD transfer is HORRIBLE, like straight from a 9th rate VHS copy onto the DVD. For low budget, mindless actioners, I'm not looking for much, picture quality doesn't have to be 100% but really, maybe they could have put a little effort into it. The audio is also really bad, very muffled and near unintelligible. I had to crank my TV volume up just to barely hear the dialogue.

The film opening sequence pits Black Cobra against four Terrorists who are holding an equal number of Swimmers hostage in an indoor pool. The thing about that is the Terrorists are asking for 2 MILLION dollars AND plane tickets out of the country. For 4 Swimmers! Their outrageous demands just sent them a one way ticket to hell via Black Cobra flight 6-6-6. Williamson does NOT fuck around, like a fearless maverick he pulls up to the scene dressed in a faux leather trench coat and eager to tell the Terrorists to go fuck themselves. With his shades on, he enters the indoor pool and pulls out a comfortably concealed shotgun, blowing the Terrorists away without second thought. The Hammer did it on principal because they can't even hold money worthy hostages.

Now that we have our introduction to our main character, we need to get this plot rollin'. A dirt bike gang, straight outta an Italian post-apocalyptic flick (they kind of look like sport bike racers in Terminator outfits) terrorizes a Woman on a beach. About a half dozen guys attempt to steal her old, beat up Chevy truck. The lead gang member (From now on will be called "Mario Lopez") manages to get in it and take off recklessly down the beach...for apparently no reason. While he's joy riding the other guys attempt to rape the woman, expect they don't manage to so much as rip a sleeve on the woman's shirt. In fact, she manages to get away from them long enough to get tackled by them again. Suddenly, her wind-surfing boyfriend finally sees what's going on and attempts to save her. Unfortunately we find out why Mario Lopez took off in the car, to kill the boyfriend. Mario pulls out a shotgun from nowhere and blows the boyfriend away. For apparently...no reason.

Cue the female lead (a photographer) whose name I cannot remember. She does look a little like Tiffany Amber Thiessen though, so I will call her "Tiff" from here on out. Tiff accidentally runs into the gang, that is no longer on dirt bikes, they have now moved into a truck. She witnesses a murder committed by the gang and Mario Lopez (looking a fuck-load like The Terminator now) witnesses her witnessing it. A chase ensues. Since Tiff is a photographer, it's only fitting that she has a camera around her neck ALL THE TIME, stealing her means of protection straight outta Rear Window, she uses a couple flash bulbs to temporarily blind Mario to get away.

At the end of a long day, Fred's soft side comes out. He may be a hard-ass when he's on the job, but when he's home, it's all about his cat. Unfortunately, Tiff went to the cops and the Sarge, or Cap', or whatever called Fred back in to protect her. Returning back to the station he quips at his boss, "I hope this is important, I left my cat at home. He's lonely." It's important alright...

To mirror Fred's love of his cat, we get to see how the other half lives. In the gangs' downtime they sit in their hideout/hangout in silence in an abandoned building. Some of the guys do manly bad guy stuff like throw knives, a couple other guys begin to do some coke but Mario Lopez is apparently anti-drug and kicks their asses for doing it. It's a little weird, 'cause they can kill, rape, and rob people without hesitation, but Mario draws the line at drugs?

The big climax happens at a hospital where Tiff is currently staying with Fred looking over her. Somehow the gang finds out where she is and sets off to kill her. There is a pretty nice amount of violence in this sequence, it may have been a low budget movie but they didn't skimp out on squibs. Plus, they had Fred Williamson in it, spitting out rebel clichés for lines and basically not being boring to watch.

This final sequence features one of the best examples of idiots in film this side of Zombi 5: Killing Birds. The Hammer shoots one of the gang members in the back but somehow doesn't kill him. This particular gang member doesn't understand the term, "quit" as he slides his lifeless legs into Tiff's room to end her life. When she spots him crawling toward her all she can do is begin to cry. She CAN walk, run, hop, skip, whatever, but she just decides to sit there and cry. While this is happening the gang member squirms all the way to the top of her bed and pulls out a knife. Just as he pulls back his arm to plunge the blade into her The Hammer comes to the rescue and finishes him off with a shotgun blast, saving the day. Yes!

This is a decent 80's Italian actioner. Not nearly as good as some, but also not nearly as bad as others. Some exploding squibs here and there plus a few straight up ridiculous scenes keep Black Cobra entertaining enough and with few dry parts. It's really too bad that the DVD transfer is so awful, but any true fan of obscure Italian (or International, in general) cinema can stomach a fuck of a lot more than your average movie go-er, so give it a shot.

I can't find a trailer for it, but this video does a great job of summing up the film

August in Records

2008-09-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

Cheap Tragedies "Sheperd To Lost Sheep" 7" (Purple /200) & (Grey /100)
Cheap Tragedies "S/T" 7" (Raspberry /25) & (Grey Pruple /300)

Crunch Time "The Realness" 7" (Green) - One of those Lockin' Out records that I always kinda wanted and usually saw go for cheap but never bought it. I finally did 'cause the dude that was selling that Terror 7" too and I figured I could knock out 2 birds with one stone. What makes this 7" stand out from the other LOC records at that time? I don't know.

Internal Affairs - "Deadly Visions" 7" (Red) - Picked this up with the Cold World LP so shipping wouldn't be so harsh for 1 LP. I don't really like this band, they had a pretty good demo and that's about the only thing I think is worth listening to multiple times, though I haven't listened to it in probably 3 years. Since I haven't filed this away yet I'll probably listen to it again sometime soon, maybe my opinion will change, it sometimes does.

Iron Age "The Way Is Narrow" 7" - Both songs on here are pretty good, I especially like the Flower Travellin Band cover. Hopefully the new LP does not dissapoint. Oh, by the way, what's up with this no limited mailorder version bullshit?! Hmm? Us nerds need a little incentive aside from, you know, the actual music. Sheesh.

Mental - "Demo 2" 7" (Non Eff'd Up Version)(Blue/White Swirl)

No Talk "Invade Iran" - So far these dudes are 2/2 with their singles. I don't really have one I prefer over the other, they are both good. For me, the vocals were make or break. They could have taken it one way and they probably would have wound up sucking but, thankfully, they are gruff, harsh, and mean...and I like it that way.

Terror "Push It Away" 7" (Clear) - I don't care if most of their fans are tools, this is one seriously crushing hardcore band who turns the mosh knob to 11 (corny, but you get the point) and doesn't quit. A couple months ago I bought the LP they did on Lockin' Out and now I want all of them on vinyl.

Cold World - "Dedicated To Babies Who Came Feet First" LP (Clear)

Let Down - "Anthology" LP (Blue Swirl)

"Demolition 1" S.O.A., Abused, Honor Role Demos LP - Eh, well, it was pretty cool to hear the Abused demo. I'm sure I could have gotten it online, but any person that isn't an asshole would rather have a hard copy of something, amirite? The SOA demo kinda has really shitty quality, I can't even remember what the Honor Role demo sounds like, the quality was better, but I really only bought it for the first two bands. One of those boots that keeps allowing people to talk about how shitty boots are.

Dead Black Mixtape
Men's Interest Demo
Mentally Challenged

July in Records

2008-07-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Final Plan "Dead End Nights" 7" (Summer Tour #'d 138/420) - When I look at the Dead By 23 Records discography not as a whole, but more as individual releases, there is nothing that really sticks out as being THE record of the time period. There is no release that makes me go, "this record is soooo fucking awesome." What I like about the label is that is was run by a record nerd who loved limited colors and covers. That there was a lot of work in making a different cover for 6 7"s on Purple that were made by accident at the plant. Alot of the screen printed covers feel like pieces of art, I'm not talking high are or anything so don't freak out, but they are just cool to own and look at. Shit, even the mailers I got when I ordered from him were screenprinted with different things. These records are just something fun to collect and most of them don't sell for more than $10. And if you get SOMETHING from DB23 there is a pretty good chance it's limited. Everyone wins, except those who hate this stuff...or don't care. I have to double check, but I think this is a different color cover and vinyl than the Summer Tour cover I already have.

Frostbite "S/T" 7" (Light Pink) - Another copy I didn't have before. Robbie Redcheecks was selling all of his DB23 stuff and I bidded on a bunch of stuff and just won these two things. To be honest, I got bummed when I read that he is selling all of his copies of the records he released. It may be a money or space thing, but it's still a bummer. Still, I watched a lot of those auctions and he walked away with a lot of money, so in the end, good for him.

Resolve "S/T" 7" (Summer Tour #'d 4/50) - Pretty good recording of this '88 Youth Crew stuff. The lyrics deal with stuff that I'm not sure a lot of Youth Crew bands sing about now. "Break Free" takes a vegetarian stance. "Fall In Line" is about oil dependence. Ad "Beg To Differ" is about how dumb intelligent design is. Nothing different from a lot of bands with different style, but still different from a lot of current youth crew. Not bad.

Otesanek/Coffins Split LP

Side By Side "You're Only Young Once..." LP - Rev started selling these again so I figured I'd pick it up while they were. When I was pulling the shrink wrap off some of the cover ink came off with it. It led me to think, if this is a repress or left overs/found copies from the 1997 repress? I like Side By Side, but I don't think they are nearly as good as their contemporaries.

Resolve "Summer Sessions" Demo Tape - Very raw boom-box-esue recording. Still doing the early Turning Point-style stuff. I only listened to this a few times but I thought it was alright. Nothing mindblowing.

June in Records

2008-07-24T14:16:00.000-07:00

Cold World - S/T 7"
Iron Boots - Demo '04 7" (Gray)
Judge - There Will Be Quiet 7" (strangely warped)
Madball - Droppin Many Suckers 7"
Outburst - Miles To Go 7" (Blackout Press)
Pressure Release - Prison Of My Own 7" (To replace my more beat up copy)
Release - No Longer 7"
Satanic Threat - "In To Hell" 7" (Red)
Walk Proud - Be Yourself 7"
Youth Of Today - "Disengage" 7"

Agnostic Front "Victim In Pain" LP
Carnivore - "Retaliation" 2xLP Reish'
The Prowl - whatever the new 12" is called
Steve Moore - Demo 2003 LP (Blue/Clear)
Warzone "Tommy Rat Demo/Street Kids Demo" LP e

Keep It Clear - Demo Tap

May in Records

2008-07-24T14:14:00.000-07:00

Absolution "4 Song" 7" (Red)
Arms Length "S/T" 7"
Bookburner 7" (Clear)
Collapse "Don Fury/Live" 7"
Coptic Times "Temptation" 7" (YB Fest version)
Confront - Payday 7"
Face Value "Loud" 7"
The Final Plan - Dead End Nights 7" (Dark Red - never saw this color before??)
In Your Face "The Grub" 7"
7 Neighborhood Threat "The Nomad Sessions" 7" Test Presses
No Talk "Police Mafia" 7"
On - Vital Times 7" (White)
Police & Thieves “Amor y Guerra” 7" (YB Fest version)
Pressure Release - Prison Of My Own 7" - Packed in an LP mailer with no padding so it flopped around for a few states, thanks!)
Verbal Assault "Tiny Giants" 7"
Warzone "Lower East Side Crew" 7" (Third Press)
V/A "Chop Chop Comp" 7" (Abombanation, others)

RZL DZL "Strickly Saucers" LP
Terror "Always The Hard Way" LP (Red)
Turning Point Discography 2xLP (Orange)
Youth Of Today "Take A Stand - Live" Lost & Found LP

April in Records

2008-07-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

Against The Wall "Identify Me" 7" - AAAAHHH! Just a fucking fierce SxE 7". These songs remind me of Judge with a higher pitched vocalist. If you like late 80's HARDcore, buy this.

DrugXTest "Needle In The Neck" 7" (Gold) - Got this from Six Feet Under. $4, I think. Just another piece to the collection, maybe one day I'll post a picture or something. My favorite SxE band of that whole mid-00's scene that I can think of at this moment.

Intent To Injure "Keep Us Strong" 7" - Really good Boston hardcore from a time when many bands weren't playing that style (the early-mid 90's). As far as I know (from listening to a lot of shitty bands from the 90's) Intent To Injure among the few to be playing this SSD/Negative Approach rough hardcore style. This particular records reminds me of Knife Fight, obviously this band existed before them, but it gives you an idea of what they sound like.
Krakdown "S/T" 7" - I am very happy own this record. I managed to get in on ebay for about the going price. This wasn't a copy with the insert but a nice fellow on Live Wire emailed me that so I need not worry. I never really thought about it all the times I listened to the mp3s of this album but as soon as I put the record needle on it I instantly got Black Flag/Bl'ast vibes. "Disappointment" is one of my favorite songs, I must've played that track 10 times in a row the day I got this in the mail. Can someone release a discography CD, please?! Don't let the recordings of these guys disappear. They are far too great for these songs to vanish.

No For An Answer "You Laugh" 7" - When I first got into hardcore it was around the tail end of the '97 revival, so '98-'99. The first bands I knew were the most popular, Integrity, Hatebreed, In My Eyes, Floorpunch, etc..Most of this stuff I knew about through the Rev catalog. So really, I got my hardcore history lesson from their first 10 or so releases. This one always stood out to me, although they stood out to me because they weren't from the New York scene. So anyway, this was one of the last ones I got around to listening to. While this isn't great and is among the least essential of the early Rev releases, I still think it's good. Part of the, "I should probably starting buying early Rev releases I don't have for under $5 while I still can 'cause you never know" collection. These guys hold the honor of being one of the most boring interviews in Schism. Good job! Bought for $5 or so on VLV.

Pushed Aside "Demo" 7" (Clear/Green) - Another great California SxE recording from the late 80's. Too bad these guys only did the demo (I think that's all they did?) because these songs are great. Maybe it's better they only recorded a demo, you know, die a hero or live long enough to be the villan-type shit.

Rejuvenate "S/T" 7" - Tommy Rat post-Trip 6 band. Listened to it a couple times, it's ok, not as raw as Trip 6.

Straight Ahead "Breakaway" Bootleg 7" (Yellow) - Not only in the top 3 NYHC recordings, this is up there in hardcore in general. If that 2nd LP was recorded these guys would be up there with Cro-Mags (ONE good LP and a bunch of guilty pleasures) and Agnostic Front (debatable how many good LP's they released, you can be a snobby bitch and just say up to the first LP 'cause that what the Cool Hardcore Guy bible or "common sense" states). Has there ever been any kind of count as to how many times this was bootlegged? This is a pretty good boot, sounds alright. A+

Swiz "With Dave" 7" - This doesn't suck. Sounds like Swiz.

Think I Care "Mongrel" 10" (Red)(Pre-Order/Alternate Cover #'d 87/187) - From the Six Feet Under order. I already had the Eating Rats pre-order but this is my favorite thing they did and I figured I won't have that many more opportunities to buy this for regular price.

Blacklisted "Heavier than Heaven, Lonlier than God" (Clear Green w/Blue Haze /300) LP - I still like their earlier stuff better but this isn't bad. More rocking than their other stuff. Yyyeah...

Let Down "We're In This Alone" LP (Gold/Brown, /100) - Love the title. This LP is pretty short and I'm glad they didn't try to make it longer by adding boring fucking segues after each song. Fast fucking hardcore, pissed fucking edge lyrics, and I don't think there is a single moment of melody or octave chords. Phew. One of the best SxE LP's I've heard in a while.

Pressure Point "Resist And Riot" LP (White/Green) - Singalong hardcore with a bit of an Oi! influence. This band actually reminds me of Fucked Up (when they weren't boring) even though PP has been around a lot longer. Pretty good, not sure if I like this as much as their older LPs though.

The Repos "Ending On A Positive Note" 12" - Man, how fucking awesome is it that a band covers WNITA from front to back, RECORDS it and THEN RELEASES it! All those Euro youth crew bands that have been ripping off YOT for years didn't even have the guts to do that* (*that i'm aware of)! Well, anyway, this is great. I almost wish they would have made more than what they pressed so more people could have this, but then it wouldn't be as desirable, and for a record nerd, that's dumb! I love how raw this (and the original, obv.) album is. For all the octave-core crap bands that claim to be influenced by YOT, very few (if any, I can think of) have ever been able to pull off anything this good.

Resist "We Want Our World Back" 12" (Clear) - This sounds EXACTLY like Stand & Fight to me. Not a problem, 'cause I like that LP. Not breaking new ground here and I'm pretty sure they realize that and don't care. A-OK with me.

Underdog "Demos" LP - Had the CD forever, now have the LP. Everyone knows this band, no point in writing anything about it.

Underdog "Vanishing Point" LP - Underdog was one of the last NYHC bands I got into. What a dummy I am. These guys are one of the best. I love (almost) everything. Glad to own these, even though Vanishing Point is the re-release with the less cool cover.

Waco Fuck "Paranoia Is Total Awareness" LP (Clear) - Before I get to my thoughts on the record I'd like to mention that more labels should release up-to-that-point discography CDs of bands AND SELL THEM FOR $5-7. Keep it cheap, y'know? Obviously CDs aren't selling as well as previous years due to file sharing and it's not worth it to spend $10-$12 on something you can either easily download or stick it in your computer, rip it for your ipod and never look at it again, which both seem to happen more often than not. CDs are not more expensive to produce than records and adding extra tracks or live material AND keeping it cheap will make people buy CDs a lot more. It's not like you can really treat CDs like rare covers/colored vinyl, so have something inticing to the "buyer". Personally, I think CDs still work for tough-guy hardcore bands and are great for discography/retrospective cds, as long as they aren't terribly re-mastered/mixed. I'd LOVE to do a CD box set of old/rare NYHC bands, so we can get rid of these shitty mp3 transfers. So yeah, if you're in one of those bands that I gush over and want a Discog CD released, get at me!

Anyway, on to the actual music. The LP starts off strong enough and then meddles through the middle and then finishes a little stronger. To be honest, I'm not feeling this release at all. At least, on first listen. I think it starts with the aesthetic. The title, "Paranoia Is Total Awareness" is one of the best LP titles I have heard in a long time. It really encompasses what I see the punk/grind/(very)slightly power-violence sound as being, which is total creepy outcasts, all with some varying level of schizophrenia and/or social anxiety disease grinding away as fast as they can. The artwork adds to this aesthetic and is a really great black and white collage with one of the most famous American schizos, David Berkowitz, on the cover staring right at us. So my hopes were a bit high based on those two factors alone. Like I said, when I put the CD in, the first couple tracks were ok to me but around track 4 or 5 it started to seem to me like these guys set out from the beginning to write "songs" and not just let the vibes of lunacy take over. You know when you listen to an album and you just get that feeling that the band tried hard to grow from their previous sound and all they managed to do was change slightly and now, essentially, sound "put on". I get that feeling with this record. Basically, what I was hoping for was a group of guys from a group home got together and tried to re-record "From Enslavement To Obliteration". And I didn't get that at all. Maybe it's my fault for putting so much hope in this, but after first seeing the presentation, I couldn't help but get disappointed.

Youth Of Today "Break Down The Walls" LP (OG Art/New Haven Address - "Punk Condition"/2nd copy) - Needed this copy because it has an insert. I'll trade or sell for something cheap.

Hi

2008-06-04T13:40:00.001-07:00

I have not quit!

In a couple days there will a few Months in Records (already have them written, just have to be proofread) and an entry on the great Black Cobra, a Fred Williamson action flick.

Forced Opinion #2 should be out soon-ish, same with the Neighborhood Threat 7".

Peace & Tranquility (translation: Fuck You)
-M. Alexander

Colin Tappe Horror Party Interview

2008-04-15T14:42:00.001-07:00

Mr. M. Colin Tappe was nice enough to answer a few questions I had for him. He watches movies and writes about them on Horror Party (see link), releases records on Life's A Rape, and sings for Crime Desire (new LP out now). Thanks again!

I was reading an issue of Life’s A Rape and noticed you asked a guy in Hard Skin about what he thought about the movie “Gigli.” Was this before the (somewhat) recent interest in low budget horror and mass buying of VHS? I guess the point of the question is, what is it that you like about “shitty” movies?

Oh, shitty movies have always been my jam, since I was a teenager. I worked at a video store when I was 16 and just got inundated with flicks, y'know? Just so many movies, and like, after awhile you get tired of seeing a straight story, and like, I'm no intellectual, I don't know a lot of arthouse cinema, y'know, so I think I just instinctively went to like, Leprechaun 4 or whatever when I needed my kick of surrealism, as my circle of friends didn't sit around and discuss Buñuel flicks, y'know? Of course you watch enough movies you realize that you don't really need to dig through Troma's catalogue to find a shitty movie, like, whatever mainstream romantic comedy is in theater's right now is probably way more painful to the conditioned cult movie watcher than an Andreas Schnaas flick or whatever.

But Gigli is in a league of its own. You have to watch it at least twice to fully get it. The first time you'll be kind of dumbfounded, confused, but overwhelmingly bored. On the second or third viewing you'll come to a point where you really have to wonder if the writer has ever like, been around people, y'know? It's like a 15 year old wrote it, and I'm not talking about ineptitude (though you get your share of that, don't worry), I'm talking like, a straight up lack of life experience. And after that you sort of just sit back and can take that flick in for what it is, which like I alluded to earlier, is a sort of surreal, alternate universe.

What do you think the main difference is between low budget horror movies from 25-30 years ago and recent ones?

Well, that depends on what you mean by low budget. Like, if we're talking the truly underground shot on video shit, then man, I don't know. I've been really persuing that stuff lately, like, post-Scream direct market shot on video stuff, arguably the nadir of the genre. Some really fucked up, out there flicks that come to mind off the top of my head would be Vampire Femmes, Modern Vampires, THE MANGLER 2 (this is more just a shitty movie than horror per se) and fuck, there's this one called Duck! The Carbine High Massacre that's a shot on video flick made in Jersey. I'm not sure if it's on DVD (the video I have doesn't even have a barcode), but that stuff leaves you just as fucked and delirious as a flick like 555 or whatever 80's SOV or total shit fi budget horror flick. I mean, whether it's a big box out of print obscurity or a pixilated late 90's computer graphics ridden nightmare, when you spend the majority of the time just thinking about the hows and whys of a movie's existence, then it's gonna be a memorable experience.

But if you're talking about just the state of modern horror in general, I think the real problem comes from up top. Frankly studio heads are smarter now about how to make a movie people will see, how much it'll cost, how to make it look, all that. Back in the day it just seemed like the executive producers had no clue what they were doing, which lead to some incredible films. Like, a flick like Ganja and Hess got made under the guise of a Blaxploitation flick! I mean, this beautiful artistic film that would have probably never been made if it wasn't for Blacula's succcess. Gunn went through a lot of bullshit with getting the film cut to make it more of an exploitation film against his wishes, so maybe that's not the best example. You can take the slasher explosion in the 80's if you'd prefer, though, where the success of a few films opened the door for all these bizarre inept flicks. Nowadays though, I don't think the people in charge just say "okay, horror movies are big, get me a horror movie, any horror movie, just make it have lots of blood, that's what Friday the 13th had, what the hell do I know about this stuff," and then you get some hustler in there to do what he can with a small budget, and what comes out is a much wilder product than when you have some pony tail exec who thinks he knows what "the kids" want to see. I dunno, I don't fuck with horror movies nowadays. Shit like Hostel, it's a joke, y'know? It just feels like every knows what they're doing and has the expertise and budget to do exactly what they're aiming for, but all that comes out is bland entertainment. Might as well watch Transformers or whatever...

I think it’s really cool that you put together a video compilation like this. Seeing as how I don’t think anything “legit” would come together that’s similar due to many different companies holding the copyrights. (Not really as question as much as it is a conversation starter or whatever…)

Basket Case - I saw this a long time ago (in the early 90’s) on Cinemax at my Grandparent’s place and it scared the shit out of me. Not so much because it was scary, which I really don’t think it is, just the overall sleeze level. Essentially, to me, the “Basket Case” is a murderous, perverted gigantic scrotum that lives in a basket.

Yeah, New York movies are always wild, it's like the city itself is as much a character as the killer in those movies. Driller Killer's an obvious one, Combat Shock too. At the time it seemed like all you had to do was let the camera roll in that city and bam, instant ambiance.

Society - Holy crap, I’ve never seen this movie and always kind of avoided it because I thought the Brian Yuzna movies I have seen kind of sucked. But I can say for sure that this is one of the grossest scenes I have ever seen. It definitely looks like it was heavily influenced by David Cronenberg, at least in the short scene that is featured.

Yeah, that flick's the best. Just listen to the audio on that scene, you'll get grossed out. I even wrote a Crime Desire song based on it, I'm that comitted.

The parts the dragged the most to me were the “Biker Mayhem” segments. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I grew up in the late 80’s/early 90’s and by that time Biker culture wasn’t very subversive anymore but I just can’t get into that stuff at all.

Yeah, that's from Psychomania. I put too many scenes from that in the movie. Basically they're all so raging I couldn't choose just one. You'll note that's in the beginning of the tape. I just take scenes as I see the movies, more or less, so my editing is pretty shoddy early on in the tape. Just wait for Vol. 2, though, I'll redeem myself, honest!

When I saw “The Beyond” listed on the back of the box I figured it could only be one thing and that was the spider scene. Good job on putting that in, though I think I would have added the beginning of that scene to give a little more context. I think seeing the dude fall down and get knocked out and then lying helplessly as spiders devour his face is THAT much more horrifying.

Ugh, that's another one where you jut have to listen to and get creeped out. Such gross sounds...Uh, also sampled on the intro of the Crime Desire record if you listen closely (there's like, 5 or so movies sampled and layered over eachother, so good luck picking out the rest).

Aside from weirding out my mailman every time he gives me a package from you, what plans do you have for Life’s A Rape? (This question was written before the recent Crime Desire/Waco Fuck Lps)

Fuck, hopefully nothing for awhile. I just did a ltd. single., three 12"s, and CD versions of two of those. I've spent like, $500 at the post office in the last 10 days. I'm due for some downtime. But in general I just want to put out the bands I like most from around here. There's tons of bands I love from all over the world, but I just want to stick to my circle of friends, and since I ain't the most social guy in the world, that's a pretty tight circle, y'know?

I saw the review for the Crime Desire LP that MRR did, I am kind of curious as to why the vocal effects were put on as well?

Fuck man, there's no fucking vocal effects! It's just doubled up, as in sung once, then sung again over it. Same "effect" Discharge, Sacrilege, Die Kreuzen, etc., etc., etc. used. We did the same exact fucking thing on "In Lucifer's Grip." It's a pretty standard practice, that review makes it sound like it's a T Pain record or some shit.

Rank the bands/songs on the “Way It Is” comp.

Wait, bands or songs? If we're talking about the bands' entire catalogue, and the importance of their existence, etc. it'd be something like:

Youth Of Today
Trip 6
Breakdown/Sick Of It All (tie)
Supertouch
WarZone (7"/demo/in theory)
Krakdown
Nausea
Bold
Side By Side
Warzone (post 7")
Youth Defense League
Gorilla Biscuits

Songs, as in the versions of the songs on that record, it'd be:

Sick People
Back With A Vengeance
Searchin' For The Light
Politics/Pete's Sake
Wise Up
As One
Together/Understand
Ignorance
Fallout Of Our Being
Escape From Your Society
Blue Pride
Dead Serious
Time Is Now
Better Than You
Forgotten

I don't think those are very popular opinions, but whatever. It's my favorite hardcore comp and I've been in a band that covered the whole record live, so I've had a lot of time to think about it. I should probably mention that I have a disproportionate amount of love for Trip 6.

Are you still trying the Don Fury collection? If so, how is that going?

I dunno, I kind of hit a brick wall as far as finding 90's shit in dollar bins goes, so I sort of lost interest. I think I have everything up to '92, probably. It just gets tedious after the Civ LP when he just made all his records sound kind of like that. Also most of the Wreckage shit is way muddy, so I dunno.

Favorite under the radar NYHC bands?

I don't really know what under the radar means anymore, but I kind of front on that stuff as I don't get down w/ mp3s, and I don't have any friends with WMFU dubs, so I haven't heard a ton of demos and shit. I don't wanna get all namedroppy and bring up 4th tier shit to try and sound cool anyways. Just listen to Age of Quarrel every day.

Top 5 bands from Cleveland that haven’t released something on Painkiller or are Integrity.

Haha, okay, let's see, how about records instead of bands? And restricting it to 90's stuff. That would go:

H100's 1st 7"
Confront, uh, discography CD
Ringworm "The Promise"
9 Shocks Terror 2nd LP
OLC "Crime Ridden Society"/Brainwashed Youth 7" (tie)

It seems silly to leave off the Cider, Inmates and Darvos 7", but rules is rules.

March in Records

2008-04-01T16:33:00.000-07:00

Order, thoughts, and opinions coming soon.

Horror Show "Our Design" 7" (Pink) - Eh, for American Nightmare-core these guys are okay. I mean, the lyrics are so laughably terrible, but the music is decent...for what it is. I already had this but bought it at Encore $1 and then I flipped it on the B9 for $25.

Go Time S/T 7" (Aqua)(Pre-Order #'d 3/285) -
The Final Plan "Dead End Nights" (Green)(Winter 2001 Tour Edition #'d 333/420) - Both were bought for a couple of bucks each on ebay to fill the Dead By 23 collection. Nothing spectacular. The Final Plan does AN-core, Go Time does cornball youth crew. Not that these are comparable, but I prefer TFP record.

Trip 6 "No Defeat! No Submission!" 7" - Sooo glad to finally own this. It may be the most I've ever spent on a 7" ($20. Now be a douche and email me/leave a comment telling me you found it at some podunk record store for $1....even though you did the same as me...) but I don't really know. Great heavy punk. To me, these guys kind of stand out from the pack of late 80's NYHC. They don't do the YouthxCrew thing nor do they do the Krakdown/Breakdown/Raw Deal type of HC. Just really good, heavy punk. The demo is good too.

Positive Approach "Just Hang On" 7" - Fuck, I still haven't listened to this.

Triple Threat "Live At CBGBs" 7" (Blue)(/200) - Um..I bought this because there are only 200 and I might as well check out while it's still availible. The recording is okay but it doesn't blow me away. I'm a fan of bootleg live recordings, but aside from like..AF "Live at CBGB's" band released live recordings just don't do anything for me. I know that probably sounds weird but it's just the way it is. I've heard "Glue" covered a 100 times already, so what I'm basically trying to say is FOR FANS ONLY. By the LP on B9, for sure. Oh, by the way, the HUGE insert warped my 7", so it looks like a blue bowl.

Sex/Vid "Nests" 7" -

True Colors - Perspective 7" (White)(#'d 103/210)

Invader - Raw Dog 7" (Yellow Label, Big Hole; /400 - i think?)
Invader - Raw Dog 7" (Silver Label, Little Hole; Stamped /under 100 - i think?)
Invader - Raw Dog 7" (Silver Label, Little Hole; Unstamped /5) - My friend Jerry put this out. Pretty good stuff here. Fast hardcore with the late 80's NYHC vibe that the Detroit Birds 7" had. Ya'll should pick this up, asap.

Die Hard "Lookin' Out For #1" LP (Red) - It was great getting two of my most wanted records (Trip 6 is the other) in one month. I was able to get this by emailing EVERYONE with it listed in their How's Your Edge page, a couple people responded, one of them I was able to work something out with. I LOVE this type of hardcore. Musically, it's slower and heavier than CONFRONT and would be closer to something like if JUDGE and INTEGRITY went into that thing that made Jeff Goldblum into a fly in The Fly. A good precursor to ONE LIFE CREW, only less xenophobic (j/k) and a little less ignorant. I wish someone could go back in the past and bring these guys to Cleveland now and show some of those nerds that it takes a little more than calling people "Fags" and "Cunts" on stage and throwing chairs around to be GOOD Cleveland hardcore.

Insted "What We Believe" LP - Go back a couple months and you'll see why I picked this up (on eBay for $6). I'm not so down with their discography as a whole, but taken in small doses and on vinyl (don't ask why, cause I don't know) I can get down with this.

Soul Side "Less Deep Inside.. " LP (Green Cover; 2nd Press) - Bought this with the Insted LP, it was only $4 and well worth it. I wasn't very familiar with these guys before this and I must say that I was pleasently surprised. A very good LP. Just goes to show you that no matter how much you think you know about music you are barely scratching the surface. Is that frustrating or challenging or both?

Youth Defense League "Old Glory" 12" (Blue)
Youth Defense League "American Pride" 12" (Clear) - I found these on some website for $7 each. I like 12" EPs and wanted to pick these up for that reason. Nothing I don't already have, but hey, I like stock piling shit. Anyway, turns out I ordered from a White Power distro. I got a catalogue with these that featured a bunch of Swastika flags and Skrewdriver CDs. If you need any of that stuff, get in touch and I'll mail it to you.

Justice "Live And Learn" 12" (Blue w/Black Splatter)(#'d 139/210) - Well, I like this better than "Escapades." Actually, I think this is pretty good. It's NOTHING like old Justice and I'm fine with that. I don't even think there are any members that played on "Elephant Skin" on this other than the singer. They still are doing the NYHC thing, but still a little more Underdog/Supertouch-ish and waaay melodic than the Straight Ahead or Breakdown or whatever.

Mindset Demo Tape - I saw these guys a couple weeks ago with The First Step, Right Idea and Invader. Reminds me of late 80's SxE stuff that was coming out of the Connecticut area. Y'know, pretty heavy on the YOT and Bold influence but still a little softer and, y'know, not "street" (I don't even know what that means). Think Pressure Release, Wide Awake, stuff like that. Good stuff here, pick it up if you get a chance.

Forced Opinion VHS Bootleg Series 1-3!

2008-03-20T17:54:00.000-07:00

It's come to my attention that some people would be interested in getting some not-so-easy to get copies of certain movies that aren't availible (in the US) on DVD.

As of right now, only availible to US and Canada folks. Since I think some of these are availible in Europe on DVD now.

01-- THE BARBARIANS (dir. Ruggero Deodato) 1987 - Ultra-violent Conan rip directed by the brainiac who brought us Cannibal Holocaust and House on The Edge Of The Park and starring Peter and David Paul AKA The Barbarian Brothers. Hilarious for it's mixture of brutal violence and slapstick comedy. Also starring the amazing Richard Lynch.

02-- MANIAC COP 2 (dir. William Lustig) 1990 - Sequel of the classic Action/Horror/Thriller/Dead Cop/Not-Quite-But-Almost-Zombie flick. Not availible on DVD in the US and from all accounts I've heard, it probably won't be for a long time. Bruce Campbell and Robert Davi try their hand at finally killing Matt Cordell for good! Dun dun dun!

03-- STRIKE COMMANDO (dir. Bruno Mattei) 1987 - Bruno Mattei, the Ed Wood of Italy, attempts to film RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART 2 as only the Ed Wood of Italy could. Absurd on every level, a must-see for fans of bad taste. The epitome of out-of-control, over the top, ridiculous 80's action-ers.

So here's the deal, PM me or email (mattaakers-at-gmail-dot-com) and let me know which movies you want copies of and I'll will make them and mail 'em out to you. Each movie will have B&W photocopied cover/back/spine. They will be recorded in SP, but some of these movies were recorded in EP mode, so be aware of that. All are in really good condition as far as VHS goes.

I don't have everything worked out but all videos will probably range from $8-12 when it's all said and done. Cheaper if you order more than one.

February In Records

2008-03-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

The First Step "Connection" 7" (White) - At this point, reviews of this band are pretty pointless. Essentially they haven't changed at all and I'm totally fine with that. As a band, they took a while for me to get in to but now that I like it, I really like it. I guess I'm really into the fact that they don't feel the need to change. Don't fix what works. Listening to the Insted discography you realize that each song is essentially the same thing. Big deal. What I'm getting at here is...man, fuck, I don't know. (Update - I'm retarded and this doesn't make sense. My point is that there is no point. The world is just so, empty, man...)

Bold "Running Like Thieves" 7" - Tom Capone adds the Beyond-y guitar licks. This is ok but I don't like it nearly as much as "Speak Out." I still want to pick all this older Rev stuff up I don't have becuase one day it may shoot through the roof price wise. Well, maybe not, but who knows. This was only $1 on ebay and worth as much.

Sick Of It All "We Stand Alone" 7" - These dudes really started to kinda suck after the "Just Look Around" LP but everything up to that point is great. I really, really, really love the first LP. I wanted to pick this up as more of a collection filler than anything. I don't know if it's just my turntable or not but the guitar tone is crap compared to what they've done in the past. I hate to sound like one of those guys but one of the main reasons I like their earlier stuff so much is the really thick NYHC-sounding guitar tone, which later bands like Rampage did a great job of replicating on their LP.

No Peace "Zombie Brains" 7" - This record fucking sucks. If it weren't for the ex-members/Cleveland connection I think most people would agree with me. I know in the same post I said I like The First Step but the thing is, right now, they are one of the few bands doing non-octave-core youth crew in the US and plus I am much more forgiving of that style 'cause it's kinda corny to being with. However, this style I am much more particular with, this shit is seriously a dime a dozen in the same sense that the Reinforce 7"s were a dime a dozen during that time period. Bland, poorly recorded, generic hardcore that fans of MRR would call me an idiot for hating and then promptly forget about them in 3 months. Moving on...

Integrity/Mayday "Split" 7" (Red) - This was $2. It's an Integrity record I didn't have before, so there's my reasoning. You could tell me the Mayday side was an aural version of a 50 chick-1 guy orgy and I would still never listen to it.

Far From Breaking "Made My Choice" 7" -

DrugxTest/RNR "Split" (original cover)(blue)(2 copies #' 17&18/52) - The early birds who pre-ordered the War of Words re-release were given the opportunity to buy the 7" with the original cover. So I did that. RNR still sucks, new cover 'n all.

Hard Stance "Force Reality" 7" - One of the West Coast late-80's SxE bands that got it right. Not much else to add.

Reinforce "Youth Shall Sing" 7"
Reinforce "One Life, Thug Free" 7" - Pre-First Step. Total cornball '97 revival youth crew. Not good, but both of these were only $1, so I figured why not.

Down To Nothing "Unbreakable" LP (White) - A "collection" of previously out of print stuff. I was ordering stuff from rev and this was up for pre-order. I'm not really that into this band but they are alright and if I ever, for some reason, decide I hate this and can't stand owning it, I'm sure I could at least get my money back on ebay.

New York City Hardcore "The Way It Is" 12" (Blue, /400) - Man, this record is fucking amazing. EVERY song is awesome. Even bands I don't really like (Nausea, GB) have pretty good songs on here. It sucks to know that the greatest compilation ever came out over 20 years and NOTHING will ever top it. This was about $14 on ebay and well worth it. YDL are retards and thank Ian Stuart. And here's the thing about that, a lot of these bands made a point to be Anti-Racist and talk about kicking the racist faction of the Hardcore/Punk scene out. Fair enough, I completely agree that in punk there is no room for that garbage. Then why did they allow the fence-walking of YDL to take place? Don't get me wrong, for some reason I find nearly the entire YDL discography listenable if not only for the fact that they WERE apart of this scene but they also did have some catchy songs (Skinheads '88 [could be constrewed as sketchy on its own right], Blue Pride, etc..). But the more I read about this scene I find out what hypocites and bullshitters some of these guys are (YOT, Warzone, etc..). Not that I live and die but what these guys say or anything but it just makes me realize that the more things change, the more they stay the same. How many times can you hear or read about people talking about how great the good 'ole days were just to find out things are essentially the same. If anything, it just makes me respect (some of) the guys in bands like Straight Ahead and Killing Time who were saying these same exact things that I am, only 18-20 years ago. So yeah, great record...

"Voice Of Thousands" Comp 12" - Okay, this record sucks aside from the Integrity song and Force Of Habit's (Pre-Ringworm) only recorded output. Colin (Horror Party) Tappe called me out on saying it sucks and in a game of private message tag he explained...

"I like the regional approach to that record. What are some good non-NY sxe-ish comp LPs of that era ('86-'92)? They were pretty scarce, so any time I get a comp from that era with more than 2 good songs I make a big deal of it."

I still think it sucks but he makes a point. Pay the $2 you can probably find this record for and decide for yourself...

Forced Opinion #1 Zine OUT NOW!

2008-03-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have 7 of these left...

For fans of bad taste...

First printing of 15 hand numbered copies. // If, for whatever reason, more than 15 people want copies I will print more.

Features part one of a two part retrospective on film director WILLIAM LUSTIG (Maniac, Maniac Cop trilogy), a reprint of the ONE LIFE CREW interview in Blood Book #3, and a bunch of my inappropriate drawings. Plus a hardcore WORD SEARCH! If you enjoy this blog than you will most likely enjoy this zine.

These are $2ppd in the USA. If you are somewhere else, get in touch and we'll figure it out.

PAYPAL - slowery_brazil@yahoo.com // Email me at mattaakers@gmail.com if you want to do snail mail.

In other news...the NEIGHBORHOOD THREAT 7"s are almost done. Check out the Forced Opinion myspace for all the latest news!

Land Of Death (2003)

2008-02-15T16:41:00.000-08:00

Another update, another Bruno Mattei (err..I mean, Martin Miller...) movie.

In the pantheon of Italian horror/gore directors Bruno Mattei seems like the guy who wears velcro shoes and has B.O. I imagine in someone’s fictional basement, directors like Fulci (RIP), Deodato (career RIP), even Martino hang out and play D&D or something and are cool with him and everything but they all just kind of find it weird to be around him. He's always talking about how great Predator and Aliens are. When he goes to the bathroom the other guys take turns asking each other who invited him. Aaaanyway...

Land of Death AKA Cannibal Ferox 3 is essentially a remake of both Predator AND Cannibal Holocaust which is interesting since he made this movie back to back with a movie called, I shit you not, Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning. So, in essence, he made the same movie back to back, with the only difference being the inclusion of the Predator plot. Of course, Land of Death has no intergalactic Predator stalking the forest killing dudes with machine guns. Bruno Mattei could never, ever afford that.

So imagine some coked up editor, for shits and giggles, decided to cut together the first and last half of Predator with the middle of Cannibal Holocaust. You now have Land of Death. When I say this movie is a rip off of the other two I am not exaggerating in the least. Every death, every plot point, every everything matches EXACTLY with one of those two movies with the small exception of the Latino fireball character who is modeled nearly identically with Pvt. Vasquez from Aliens. Even the line, "I don't have time to bleed" is in here.

The funny thing about these characters is that they have absolutely no personality or distinguishing features until the big moment comes when it’s there turn to rip off one of the previously mentioned movies. You spend the entire movie thinking the main character (some may remember him as being the ugly brute Jakoda in Strike Commando) is a rip of the Arnold character until he dies at the end just like Carl Weathers did. So, in essence, Land of Death is what Predator would be like if Carl Weathers was the main actor. And, you know, all the cannibal shit thrown in there too.

Despite its budget limitations Mattei works his magic and was somehow able to convince a bunch of native girls to walk around topless. I wonder if there is a tribe of Westernized natives who rent their services out to anyone with a couple bucks (“Yeah, I can call off at Wendy’s for a few days, lemme see if any of my co-workers want to come too.”). This also was shot on some form of DV, but the quality is not nearly as bad as The Tomb, at least in my opinion. In this movie though, it kind of works in it’s advantage and adds a certain level of rawness that just looked corny and shitty when it was applied to The Tomb.

If you’ve read my “review” of The Tomb then you know that I find the guy who overdubbed the main characters voice to be just absolutely soothing! Well, I was in luck as the same exact guy did the overdubbing for the main character here and it’s EXACTLY THE SAME! Consistency. It’s all about consistency with this guy.

Thankfully, there is a lot more blood in this movie than in The Tomb. It’s low-budget and crappy enough to give hope to anyone with a couple bucks, some land, and, of course, some topless natives, that you, yes, you, can remake nearly anything. At least, Predator, Aliens, or Cannibal Holocaust. Shit, you might as well just remake Land of Death. Am I right or am I right? This is worth a rental, for sure. Watch it with friends and you are guaranteed a good time.

+
Alex Vitale’s career.
The “ending” or rather, lack there of.

-
Fuck you! That’s my negative!

(This is in Japanese but it kinda makes it better)

January In Records

2008-02-05T07:59:00.000-08:00

More time this month permitted me to be able to enjoy (or not) most of my new records.

Down To Nothing S/T (Red) - A lil' stone chipped off the monster rock that is known as Dead By 23 Records.

Drug Test/RNR Split
Drug Test/RNR Split (Blue)(Stamped & #'d 45/50)
Drug Test/RNR Split (Blue)
Drug Test/RNR Split (White) - I don't know why but Drug Test is pretty much my favorite edge band of the early 2000's. Maybe it's because they stray a bit from the typical youth crew sound but the influences are still there. The music has always been played competently, which isn't always a requirement for good punk, but it helps. Maybe it's because they display a certain level of ignorance that some of my favorite hardcore bands of yester-year did. I do know they were one of the fiercest bands I saw a couple years ago, unfortunatly it was one of their last shows. I really like the songs on this split and I'm glad this release finally is out there instead of just being 100 records released at their last show. RNR, eh, for some reason I have all of their records and the demo but I never really got into them, as hard as I tried. This was the first time I ever ordered all the colors of something, I felt like a dork but I figured, "why the hell not?"

Beyond "No Longer At Ease" Cassette - Lately, I have been reading all the zines from the late 80's I can find. Specifically those from the New York Hardcore scene. Pretty much all of them are the same in the sense that they are covering a scene that the clowns from MRR tried to cover up as best they could by calling bands that sing about anti-racism, racists and meathead jocks and such. Perhaps it's true. I do know that a lot of those guys from bands like Raw Deal, Krakdown, Straight Ahead, etc seem like legitimatlly nice guys who were doing their thing and not giving a fuck about what anyone else thought because they had their scene and (pretty much) every one supported each other. Anyway, my point is, one major thing these zines had in common was they all reviewed the Beyond "Dew It" Demo Tape and all of them talked about how great it is. What is interesting to me is that these guys weren't really apart of that scene but because they were so good they kinda broke in without being involved in the click that existed. I'm pretty sure all the guys that played on this album were pretty young but the quality of the songs doesn't show that as the drums are tight and frantic and the guitar is all over the place. The vocals may be rough for some people as the shouting thing seems out of tune at times but it adds to the harshness and vibe of the album. I'm glad I finally have a legit copy of this even though it's on cassette. Who wants to trade/sell/give me the LP version? ($7 from eBay)

Shark Attack "Feeding Frenzy" 7" - I've had this on my want list forever and I was finally able to snag this in a deal for a couple 7"s I had doubles of. It feels good to have this even though I probably won't listen to it much because I know the songs like the back of my hand. Oh, and because I have the CD too.

Haymaker "Lost Tribe" 7" - Part of the trade w/Jeff 16oh. I have the LP & Split 7" w/Fucked UP and it's okay, I figured I might as well pick up everything while I still care since most of it is out of print.

Weekend Nachos "Punish And Destroy" LP (Purple) - Lots of people give this band shit. This album has lots of "fuck you" songs on it to those people. While I wasn't really into this as most of the lyrics are kinda crap there are a few bright spot songs. I also enjoy that they can play heavy and fast and not have to rely on the lame/boring power-violence cliches of start/stop/fast/slow/boooring. Part of the Jeff 16BLow trade.

Fucked Up/Think I Care "TOH Live" 7" - Part of the Town Of Hardcore package. I haven't listened to this and never will. Basically bought to trade or just have to complete the package. The TOH book is fucking great, so buy that.

Wolf Whistle Demo - Dude from Have Heart playing PV with guys from XFilesX and Breathing Fire. I kinda like the fact that the guitar isn't fucking heavy and low-tuned as fuck but it still manages to have some punishing moments. Overall, I'm not into this but it's an okay listen.

Insted "We'll Make The Difference" (Red) - I've had the discography CD for a while and never got into it. I just thought a 1,000 songs that sound identical gets kinda tedious. I bought this on ebay for like $3 and this is deffinitly the perfect medium to enjoy this kind of stuff. It's short and over before it really drags. I guess I am an Insted fan now, as bad as that is. Now, I just need everything else that made up the discog CD. Yeah, I'm a dumb-dumb.

Outburst "Miles To Go" (Red)
Breakdown "'87 Demo" (Pale Green) - Both are the Euro re-issues. I don't care, both of these records fucking kill. The thing that stands out most to me is the cover of the Outburst 7". If I was some guy flipping through records at a store and wasn't up on NYHC and I spotted this I would probably be making fun of it pretty hard. I'm not one to get down on people's looks but c'mon, they look pretty goofy. Well anyway, IF I was a guy flipping through records and spotted this and made fun of them, the joke would be on me because this EP is fucking amazing. Y'know what Demo they should have put in this collection of NYHC re-issues? ALTERCATION. Fucking get on it!

December In Records

2008-01-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

Well, most of December was spent preparing for finals, taking those finals and then away from my apartment so I've been playing catch-up with records and stuff, but here it is anyway...

7"s
Frostbite S/T (Blue) - Another one for the Dead By 23 collection.

Let Down Dead By 23 S/T (Green, This Is Hardcore 2006 Cover) - I haven't listened to it since it came out, which was about a year ago. DB23 has been known to take a while.

Steel Nation "The New Nation" (Blue) - What can I say. I'm a sucker for early Integrity sounding stuff. I bought their CD, "Soul Swallower," a while ago and while I don't think it's anything amazing I thought it was an okay listen. So I decide to buy this 7" as kind of a throw in when I ordered the Pulling Teeth LP only to find out all of these songs are on the CD I already own. Fuuuuck.

Supreme Commander "120 Years In The Business" (Gray) - Got this for free, haven't listened to it yet. Maybe never will.

Waste Management "Get Your Mind Right" (Green) - I liked Say Goodbye when they were around and I actually went to see them when they toured with Rampage a few years ago but left before they played because there were some of the worst people in the world at the show. After I left it got ugly and there was some bullshit that went down. Uhh, anyway. This is good.

"Only The Strong" (Integrity, Confront, Meanstreak. Etc..) - This is worth owning for the Confront song alone. Integrity and Meanstreak both have good tracks as well.

12"s
Pulling Teeth "Matyr Immortal" (Clear/Smokey Blue)(Blue Foil Cover) - Haven't listened yet. I've been busy! Dang!

Reign Supreme "Defiant" - Cool 12" EP, aside from the dumb intro. Really, I don't give a shit about dance or house music of any kind. There is a great Agnostic Front cover that worth having for sure though.

Walls S/T (White) - Same as the Pulling Teeth LP.

Worn Thin "Long Road Ahead" (Blue) - Same as the Walls and Pulling Teeth LPs. I really only bought this because I like Youngblood Records and wouldn't mind having their discography for collectors sake.

Demos
Coptic Times - Not yet.

Dead Black - Hard. I love the recording of this. It just seems like it belongs on a tape, the sound, the artwork, everything. The reverb on the vocals just makes it that much more awesome.

Elder - Sounds a lot like Sleep.

The Rival Mob - Fast hawdcore. Listened a few times. Not bad.

War Priest - This has a Tragedy/From Ashes Rise feel. Got this for free, it's okay, I'll probably never listen to it again though.

The Tomb [La Tomba] (2004)

2007-12-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

I wrote most of this a couple days BEFORE 12/20 and made my blog post a few days later but I wasn't able to actually write this until 1/23 so I'm trying my hardest to remember a mostly forgettable dog shit movie.

Oh, Bruno Mattei (AKA David Hunt AKA Vincent Dawn AKA 1,000 other names). How the film world will miss your contributions. Ever wonder what Robocop and Predator would be like mixed with 1/10th of the budget? Perhaps you should check out Robowars. What about Aliens and The Terminator? Well there's Shocking Dark AKA Terminator 2. Yes, Terminator 2.

This brings me to my current topic, 2004's The Tomb AKA Army Of Darkness meets The Mummy AKA "If you're gonna make a crappy horror movie, the least you can do is throw a little hardcore pornography in there."

I guess I'll start off with the overall visual look of the "film." It looks as if the crew of an early 90's SNICK show was locked into a room and watched nothing but 70's and 80's nth rate Itailian Horror Films and, of course, early Grindhouse porn with all the sex scenes cut out. Then they were released in the custody of Bruno Mattei and given a borderline/barely/not really attractive cast and $500 to make a movie. This movie was shot on video. Not HD Video, not 24p, or any decent looking video medium, but something like your parent's family video camera. Interspersed throughout The Tomb is stolen footage from such films as Army Of Darkness. There is also a direct rip off of Selma Hayek's "Snake Dance" that was featured in From Dusk 'Til Dawn. I'm not sure why they didn't just steal that footage too, at least there would of been something that was a little professional looking. Maybe they couldn't find the VHS of it?

The first part of The Tomb takes place somewhere in Mexico and it doesn't matter at all so I won't discuss it. Once they finally reach the Tomb it kind of looks like a Saturday Night Live sketch, green screen background and all. 'Cept, they aren't behind a green screen and I don't think this is supposed to be funny. But it still manages to be funnier than SNL, so go figure.

As far as the actor's go, there is the "hero." I'm not sure if he actually has a name but he is the Professor of the group. He looks like a stand-in on Lost, acts like Adam West at the height of his crappiness and the actor who overdubbed his voice may or may not be Jeff Goldblum. There is the random girls and none of them show their boobs. Well, one of them does but it's through a white t-shirt so I don't really count that.

There is also a few of my favorite horror movie cliché’s such as the impenetrable spider web that could stop a freight train. Oh, and the nerdy guy with glasses (in this case, a fool named "Patrick") who winds up losing his glasses and then suddenly becomes 100% blind. What's more everyone around him suddenly goes blind too and one of those people wind up stepping on his glasses. Poor "Patrick."

The main bad guy (menacing dude on front of poster) winds up looking a little like Red Skull from the Captain America adaptation that was made in the early 90's. Nothing more interesting about that either.

+
Umm...
Okay, I think I have one..the Professor calls one of the characters a, "fucking damn witch."

-
No boobs! (Seriously...would of made this a little more watchable)
No gore?! (What. The. Fuck. Seriously.)
Pretty much everything.

November In Records

2007-12-05T17:10:00.000-08:00

Youth Defense League (YDL) "Voice Of Brooklyn" LP + Bonus 7" - Wonderfully ignorant NYHC from my favorite time period. I got this for 99 cents.

Clockcleaner "Babylon Rules" LP - This LP is great, lots of mind blowing parts. Some parts really remind me of Easy Action drenched in like, meth, or something.

The Mob "We Come To Crush" LP - When most of the hardcore bands that were around in the early 80's started to do butt rock, The Mob did this. It's okay.

Confront "Payday" CDEP - Seriously SICK Judge/NYHC worship from Cleveland. This EP and their comp songs were booted by Lost and Found on a CD.

No Rights "Demo" 7" (Floorpunch Cover) - Pre-Blacklisted band's demo on a 7". I already have another version of this, but I like Floorpunch and Dead By 23, so I bought to add to the collection.

Frostbite "S/T" 7" (Floorpunch Cover) - Same thing as the No Rights 7", except this is pre-Cold World.

Living Hell "The Lost And The Damned" LP - This band does the Clevo/Integrity style very well, I'm into it. Of course, there are plenty of folks who would probably rather just listen to Integrity.

V/A New Yorks Hardest "Where The Wild Things Are" Comp LP (Blue) - Reissue. Side A seriously blows my mind in ways things like records just aren't supposed to do. Side B is a let down, but they could put like "My War" Side B on it and it still would be kind of a let down.

Kill Your Idols "Something Started Here" 5x7" Box Set - For some reason I wanted to pick this up but not for $35. Luckily some Euros distro went out of business and they sent a bunch of these back to the label with the covers dinged up. I got it for $10, damage is minimal for the most part.

Bitter End "Climate Of Fear" LP (Blue/Brown Swirl) - Pretty much continues where "Mind In Chains" stopped. Late 80's NYHC mixed with Early 90's NYHC. It's ok.

Let Down "Sacrifice Me" (Black #'d 05/105) - Yeah, so I put this on and then it ended. So...

Punch In The Face "At War With Everybody" LP (Green/Screened Cover) - My first copy was so badly warped I couldn't play it. Luckily I was able to send it back and got sent a replacement in return. I like this, it's pretty much what I expected after hearing the 7"s. The only downside I can think of is the terrible artwork that comes with the standard version.

Criminal Damage "No Solution" LP (Turquoise) -

Inepsy "No Speed Limit For Destruction" LP - I've heard two things about this album: it sucks and it's awesome. I think it's somewhere in between. I kinda like the idea of apocalyptic crusty cock metal, but this album just isn't loud enough for they are trying to do. The guitars sound really subdued, like I think they could of blasted that shit when they mixed it and it would of turned out a lot better. This gets teeny extra props only because I like the black sleeve it came with.

G3 "Un Nuevo Enemigo" LP (Red/Handmade Cover) - Throw in I got with the PITF LP. I don't know when I'll ever listen to this, but thanks! That was nice!

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)

2007-12-02T20:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, typically I would expect a movie like this to suck balls BIG TIME but after listening to an interview with the director (Joe Lynch) on the Pickled Embryo Podcast (which doesn't exist anymore..) I figured this would be a lot better than my previous expectations.

In the interview Joe Lynch said he wanted to approach this project as if Umberto Lenzi (I think that was the director he mentioned) directed Cannibal Holocaust. And they, since this was direct to dvd, had plans to make it as vile and disgusting as possible. Well, I thought that sounded cool at the time. It's always exciting when new filmmakers get an oppurtunity to do a project like this. He didn't sound like a total tool box and actually seemed like he had a general love for the genre (I know that sounds lame, but whatever!).

At the beginning of November I finally got around to watch this and I am somewhere in between dissapointed and slightly impressed. Dissapointed because it just wasn't vile enough. Seriously, if you're going to mention Cannibal Holocaust you could at least have some penis amputation or maybe even a little bush here and there. Some of the kills even happen off screen. Look, I know sometimes less is more, but this is Wrong Turn 2 not Silence Of The Lambs! Why Rollins' body count wasn't in the hundreds is beyond me. They had this human monster at their disposal and the least they could muster up is only a few kills? Tisk-tisk.

One other thing I had a problem with was some of the shots Lynch decided to do. I think the film kind of suffers from too many visual styles. One moment there will be some nu-metal-esque Matrix shot and then there will be the steady-cam and then the utterly-retarded-as-shit blue tooth POV cam, etc...I'm not saying that all these different types couldn't of worked, I just thought they didn't really flow together as they should have.

Some of the gore was actually pretty cool, such as the opening sequence with Kimberly Caldwell, who I had no idea who she was until my girlfriend told me. Two other standout sequences are the Lesbian Chick and the Annoying Guy hanging upside down and then getting the single arrow through their heads, which is such a bleak way to go out. And the Cute Girl who gets an axe thrown into her head, I was deffinitly bummed about that.

Overall, I would say that Wrong Turn 2: Dead End at the very least is worth a rental from Netflix. I don't have some great affinity for the original, which this film is most deffinitly better, and gorier than. Like I said, I only wish it were more vile, especially coming from a guy who was involved with Troma. Anyway, I hope Joe Lynch gets another chance to make a movie, I would be excited to see how he progresses from this. Get a couple of dudes together, pack up the bong and chill.

+
Rollins' Acting Skills
Black Guy Staying Alive
Big 'ol Pile a Guts
Patton Oswalt "Cameo"

-
Not Enough Boobs!
Rollins' Low Body Count
Not Enough Blood!
Cute Girl Dying Too Soon

P.S. I wonder if the character of "Old Man" was named that in the script or Rollins was just riffing with him and they filmed it as is???

The Prowler (1981)

2007-09-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

It's not completely intentional that my first two posts are of movies that Tom Savini had something to do with and it's even less intentional that my post after this one will have something to do with him as well. When you look at his credits you will find that he hasn't done that much, but what he's done has been pretty great. Even Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 had its moments and that's pretty hard for me to say and feel 100% comfortable with that statement.

Anyway, The Prowler is a good early 80's slasher movie that kind of takes on the look of Friday The 13th, which Tom Savini also did the f/x for, and pretty much kills off the same type of young adults but instead of a camp it's at a college graduation dance..or maybe high school, I don't really know and it doesn't really matter all that much.

Like Friday The 13th the killer is obscured for most of the film except for a few tight shots of different sections of his body and since it's night and he's wearing all black you can't really make out anything anyway. If you're looking for a good mystery about who the killer is you probably shouldn't look here as it's fairly obvious from the beginning (hint: it's the Sheriff), but that doesn't take away from the few great moments of suspense that Joseph Zito is able to build.

As I stated earlier, the film definitely reminded me of Friday The 13th(have I beaten this into your head yet???), from the soft focus cinematography to the gore. It's was only fitting that Joseph Zito's next film was Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter, which holds a special place in my heart because not only does it feature Corey Feldman as Tommy Jarvis but also Crispin Glover as "Jimmy." Zito also went on to direct Missing In Action, Red Scorpion, and Invasion USA (which features f/x by none other than Tom Savini and is currently sitting in my Netflix que). He never went back to the Horror genre after FT13thTFC (sweet abbreviation, huh?) instead, he stuck to the "Chuck Norris-blow-up-hundreds-of-faceless-dark-skinned-terrorists for the betterment of the Red, White, N Blue" genre, which is okay, but should probably be discussed at a different time.

So, for all the horrible killers that 80's slasher movies had to offer, a love scorned WW2 vet in full fatigues that kills people with a pitchfork is A-O-K by me.

+
Head Explosion (watch this in slow motion)
Special Features (Tom Savini gore footage is A++)
Lawrence Tierneys' anti-part
Genuinely Creepy Pursuits

-
Not enough boobs, seriously, this IS a slasher film, right?

Night Of The Living Dead (1990)

2007-09-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

With all the disappointing remakes of the last few years re-watching Tom Savini's Night Of The Living Dead is refreshing. This was a late-night favorite of mine when I was younger as either Cinemax or Starz would always play this on the weekends and in the summer. I think what I like most about this movie is it's lack of flashiness, that say, Halloween or The Hills Have Eyes, drip with. As in, it doesn't look like a Nu-Metal video. Of course, Nu-Metal wasn't around in 1990, at least not to the extent it was in the late 90's and beyond. Anyway, I like the fact that they don't change that much until the ending and although it's still a bummer, I leave the film satisfied.

The cool thing about this movie is it can be bought very cheaply (deepdiscount.com 20% sale will get you it for around $4) on DVD. Surprisingly to me, it actually has quite a few extras such as commentary by Tom Savini and some footage that was cut from the film to give it an R rating. From most accounts, I've heard that the directors cut isn't THAT great, but with practically every movie getting the special treatment nowadays, I think this film at least deserves that. From the looks of it, some scenes featured a little more blood and there was a pretty sweet zombie head-exploding scene. In my opinion, Tom Savini is one of the masters at having heads explode in movies and I would really like to see it in the context of a scene.

+
Bill Mosely as "Johnnie"
Great unflinching shot of Johnnie getting his skull cracked on a tombstone.
Tony Todd as "Ben"

-
Although I think the Zombie make-up is pretty good in this and deffinitly superior to that in Dawn Of The Dead I still wish Savini would of been able to do the effects but it's obvious why he didn't do it himself.
Ben still dying. :(
The MPAA originally chopping this up.